Watching my daughters interact with Derk the other day and it struck me, they have this amazing relationship with him. He’s their daddy. They trust him completely. They believe in him. Bella draws pictures of her “handsome daddy slaying the bad guys.” He is the example that they will judge their future boyfriend against and I couldn’t be happier. i am so grateful he loves them as his own. They will have the stability of a daddy’s love that I didn’t have growing up. It made me so happy, it made me cry. I am not sad for the way my childhood turned out, my mom way more than made up for the lack of a father in my life. But to see my girls thriving because of the love of this amazing man, I am just so happy because I know that there is the possibility of a happy secure childhood leading into better decisions for them in their lives than I made in mine.
If they fall in love with a man like their daddy, they will be so happy.And I am so grateful that the events in my life led me to my soulmate.
My girls will grow up in a sense of security and love from a man that I never had. They will grow up to be better people, more well adjusted people. I have left a toxic abusive relationship and changed my life. I know I am worth a man as wonderful as Derk and he is the most wonderful gift I could give my children. He loves them so much. He plans for their future. He astonishes me with how much love he has for all of us. I guess, just watching them with him every day, I feel a little gypped, I feel like I missed out on the whole dad thing. I didn’t get a dad who cared about me until I was in my twenties. It’s fine. No biggie. Except that I waited so long to get married and have kids because I was worried I would get it wrong. And I got it wrong anyways
Yet, from all that learning of what is not right in a dad, I found the best dad ever for my kids.
I’m so indescribably, unbelievably happy that I lucked out in finding the best daddy ever for my girls.
And just a little bit jealous.
I wonder what my life would have been like with that sense of security/ And I am so unbelievably happy my kids have it.
It’s going to be so very difficult to explain to them the difference between their biological father and their daddy someday.
But I know Derk and I will handle it together.
The other day Derk talked about how we are going to handle our finances once we get married. With anyone other than my soulmate I would have run screaming, I let myself be so vulnerable before. But with Derk, I am safe, he is wise, and I am trusting.
Thank you so much that I was able to come out of such a terrible relationship and build myself up to the point that a man like Derk, a stallion among men, a prince among paupers, a gentleman among scoundrels, found his way to loving me.
I love you Derk. You have no idea how much you are our super hero.